Experiences...

It's funny that when author Herman Melville met Ralph Waldo Emerson he described him as a man with a "defect in the region of the heart". Odd that we assign emotion, an entirely brain chemical response, to an area that only serves to pump blood, and has no bearing on how we feel, or does it? We assign it that, not just due to years of semantic norms which have assigned the heart the duty of bearing emotion as well as keeping us alive (Jeez how much can one organ do? Hope he gets one hell of a 401k), in that those wonderful chemical reactions in the brain almost always trigger that poor ticker to speed up, tighten, etc. The other night I experienced that.
I'm not going into detail. It's none of your darn business to be honest, I just wish to comment on how we... experience our feelings. Granted we can be as cold as we want, not show any emotion but when you honestly do care, well it's like a piece of butter trying to stand up to a flamethrower. I was worried, relieved, tired, a whole range of things. Hearing someone be entirely honest with themselves is a somewhat wrenching experience. At the same time however you find a new respect and understanding of that person. For me... an even greater attraction maybe. Granted it's been a single day and I'm definitely a bit raw at the moment. One thing the brain is good for is exacerbating exhaustion. Hmm, in looking back at this what I've penned (typed you moron!) makes little sense. Perhaps it's the lack of sleep, I don't know. I guess I'm trying to relate something that cannot be described. Am I making any sense? No, I would imagine not. Well, I still care. What happened doesn't affect how I see this person, not in the least. Well that's wrong; doesn't affect my perception insofar as a negative image of them. Navy is bearing down and I find myself balking a little. It's something I've wanted to do... but lacked the means or rather the courage to do it. Drifting from job to job, just trying to enjoy the time in front of me instead of thinking ahead. Squandering loads of cash that could have been better spent. But hindsight is always as they say 20/20. The only thing anyone can do is look to what matters to them and charge forward. In my case I see a few things I want; being hesitant only postpones the result... it does little to change it, whatever it may be. So we should just let go a bit, let our brain's chemicals screw with our cardio-pulmonary system and just go with what our...heart tells us.